Aug. 8, 2007
Dear Interfaith Families and Friends,
The Cost of High Holiday Services
In five weeks many of us will be gathering for Rosh Hashanah, the New Year. But many of you are wondering, where will I go for services? Will I take my partner? How much will I have to pay for services? What if I want to join a synagogue? What will that cost?
One person told me, “Dues are $5000 a year.” “WHERE?!” I asked.
“I don’t know where. That’s what someone told me.”
One woman called me and told me where she wants to join but added, “It’s really expensive.” “How much do you think it is,” I asked.
“I don’t know,” she said, “I’m afraid to ask.”
Let’s clear this up. First, there are a few places you can go for FREE High Holiday services. That’s right, free. And I’m starting my annual information collection. I’ll be sending out locations, institutions, and contact info.
Second, yes, most synagogues charge for High Holiday services and here’s what you need to know: They will state a price, but will not turn you away if you can’t pay it. You can talk to they about what you can afford. It’s a very un-American thing to do, negotiate costs, but that’s how it works. If you’re too uncomfortable, just call me and I’ll help you work it out.
Tell me you can’t get the day off work, tell me you are sick, tell me you live 500 miles from the nearest synagogue, but don’t tell me you aren’t going to services because you can’t afford it. We will work it out!
What about Membership?
Everything I just said about High Holiday tickets goes for membership dues too. Dues are negotiable. Many couples when they are starting out don’t pay full dues. They negotiate. My husband and I sure didn’t pay full dues when we first joined. We were both working, had just bought a little house, had a toddler and a baby on the way. No, we didn’t go out to dinner or the theater. We were making the mortgage. We DIDN’T pay full dues.
We didn’t pay one annual lump sum, we paid a monthly 1/12th of the cost.
Say you decided you could afford $1000 a year, you’d pay $83.33 a month. Or conversely, you could look at what you can afford monthly and multiply that out to your annual amount. If you can afford to pay $50 a month and then multiply that out and it’s $600. Think about it and then talk to the Membership person.
Yes, each and every synagogue is funded by it’s members. They don’t get money from a national organization – they have to pay the national organization. So don’t expect the guy next to you to pay your way. Be honest with yourself and your partner and then be comfortable with your decision and start enjoying belonging.
What if you can’t pay very much at all?
I knew a woman who could afford VERY little. She had terrible debts left after a divorce and simply had no disposable income. I called the synagogue as she felt too uncomfortable to make the first contact. We got it handled in about 15 minutes. Today is she is extremely active. She loves her shul, enjoys making an impact and is very active in the Social Action program, Sisterhood and a few other programs she decided they needed. I pointed out to her a few years ago that they couldn’t afford to hire someone who did all she does!
If you find a place you love, a place where you are happy, you will be a blessing to them. Don’t worry. Give it time. One lovely woman sings in the choir. I pointed out to her that in sharing her voice with the congregation she makes the worship service sweeter for all.
What if it’s not worth $50 or even $25 a month to me?
That’s fine. You may not be feeling ready to join a synagogue. You may not have identified a reason to do that.
I suggest that you take a look at a booklet called, “Do I Have to Pay to Pray?” Here’s the link. It is a booklet put together by Karen Kushner at Project Welcome and it does an excellent job of answering the common questions about paying for membership and High Holiday services.
http://urj.org/_kd/Items/actions.cfm?action=Show&item_id=12800&destination=ShowItem
What is the benefit of joining?
I’ve talked to you in the past about how individuals and families benefit from joining a community. Beyond what you can ever buy are the benefits of belonging.
- When my friend died and her 17 year old daughter needed “extra moms” she got them from the chavura (friendship circle) that her family was a part of.
- Remember the April bat mitzvah of Maya, the girl with the Muslim dad and Jewish mom? Her parents wanted her to feel fully in possession of her identity - they joined a synagogue so she’d get lots of affirmation.
- A man I know had a terrible accident and was hospitalized for several months. He told the guys from his synagogue men’s group, “Call me every day, I don’t want to feel alone.” They did and I believe it helped him heal.
- Several friends drive seniors to appointments. They love it. “Someday someone will do this for me, I’m paying forward,” they say.
- My own father is dead and my mother has dementia. Sometimes I need surrogate parents to tell me: stop worrying, life is good, the kids are doing fine, come sit by me, where’s my hug.
Don’t we always want to belong to someone(s)? I know I do.
EVENTS
Knit and Quilt for Those in Need (Los Altos Hills)
Taste of Judaism (all around the bay)
Tot Shabbat (Oakland)
Kabbalat Shabbat Evening Services (San Francisco)
Is "Sin" a Jewish Concept? (El Cerrito)
Humanist Jews Family Shabbat Dinner (San Ramon)
Shir HaShirim (Berkeley)
Young Family Shabbat (Los Altos Hills)
Shofar Blowing (San Francisco)
Outreach Kabbalat Shabbat (Berkeley)
Prospective Member Gathering (Oakland)
End of Summer Havdalah & Folk Concert (San Rafael)
Singing In The New Year: Music for the Days of Awe (San Francisco)
Jewish Community Volunteer Day (San Francisco)
The Mystical Hebrew Alphabet: Layers of Meaning, Fabric of Time (San Rafael)
How We Die; How We Mourn (San Francisco)
Annual Beth Am Sukkot Open Homes (Los Altos)
Welcoming Your Jewish Baby (Oakland)
Baby is a Blessing (Foster City)
Knit and Quilt for Those in Need
Crafters, we need you! Beth Am Women has an ongoing working group of knitters and quilters who are creating covers for those in our community who are in need of comfort. If you don't have skills but want to learn, we will help you. We are all learners and the gift of your hands will be appreciated by those receiving the quilts and blankets. Some are already completed and they are works of art! We have been meeting every other week. Schedule pending, depending on room availability. Donations of yarn and cotton material needed. All ages welcome.
Place: Beth Am, 26790 Arastradero Road, Los Altos Hills
For more information contact Phyllis Karel at iakarel@sbcglobal.net or Lyndalee Korn at
LyndaleeKorn@earthlink.net.
Taste of Judaism
Are you curious about Judaism? Whether you're Jewish or not, join this three-part introductory class. We'll explore Jewish spirituality, ethics, and community.
City, Start date, contact phone number
San Francisco, August 13, 415-392-7080 x18
Alameda, Aug. 22, 510-839-2900 x347
Los Gatos, Sept. 18, 415-392-7080 x18
Berkeley, Oct. 2, 510-839-2900 x347
San Francisco, Oct. 10, 415-392-7080 x18
Santa Rosa, Oct. 31, 415-392-7080 x18
Palo Alto, Nov. 1, 415-392-7080 x18
Burlingame, Nov. 1, 415-392-7080 x18
Pleasanton, dates to be announced
visit www.projectwelcome.org for more information or call me, Dawn.
Tot Shabbat
Welcome in Shabbat with singing and story telling. Babies, toddlers, kids, moms, dads and grandparents are invited to this fun filled service. Tot Shabbats are held on the second Friday of each month.
Date: Friday, August 10
Time: 6:30pm
Place: Temple Sinai, 2808 Summit St., Oakland
For more information call Gabby at 510-451-3263.
Kabbalat Shabbat Evening Services
Come welcome Shabbat. There will be a wonderful, catered Oneg immediately following services.
Date: Friday, Aug. 10
Time: 6pm
Place: Sherith Israel, 2266 California Street, San Francisco
For more information, contact Aviva Hicks
at ahicks@sherithisrael.org or 415-346-1720 ext 24.
Is "Sin" a Jewish Concept?
Join us to share a potluck dinner, eat, laugh, and learn. All are welcome.
Dates: Friday, August 10
Time: 6:15pm
After gathering at 6:15, we'll continue with:
6:30 - Candle lighting and dinner
7:30 - Rabbi Bridget leads a lively discussion on: Is "Sin" a Jewish Concept?
8:15 - Dessert and schmoozing (time to hang out and chat)
Place: JGate's cozy home near El Cerrito Plaza and BART station
RSVP is required. Please contact Rabbi Bridget Wynne at JGate, (510) 559-8140, or rabbibridget@jgate.org, to make a reservation and get directions and your food assignment. Please let us know which date you want to join us. If your schedule doesn't allow you to bring a dish to share, we offer you the option of contributing $7 toward the dinner.
Humanist Jews Family Shabbat Dinner
Gather with families with young children for pizza and a short Sabbath ceremony in which everyone sings the traditional “Shabbat Shalom,” with kids enthusiastically accompanying on rhythm instruments.
The religious blessing over the challah is replaced by what Rabbi Seid calls an “ashrei” or “rejoicing,” honoring the farmers and bakers for producing the challah and reminding the participants to love the earth which produces the grain. “Then everyone hangs out, eats, chats – and then we go home in time for a normal bedtime for the kids,” says Seid.
Date: August 10
Time: 6:00
Place: Call for location in San Ramon.
Cost: Kids are free, but each adult is asked for $6 to cover the cost of the pizza.
Sponsored by the Humanist Jews of TriValley.
For more information and directions, e-mail CulturalJews@aol.com or call (925) 485-1049.
Shir HaShirim
The Song of Songs Minyan comes together for a Kabbalat Shabbat Service for egalitarian Jewish spiritual practice. Uniting the musical liturgy of Sephardic, Mizrachi & Ashkenazi traditions, the service focuses on the rich content of Jewish sacred music, poetry & prayer from around the world.
Date: Friday, Aug. 10
Time: 7:30pm
Place: JCC of the East Bay, 1414 Walnut St., Berkeley
For more information call Ishtar at 510-848-0237 x110
Young Family Shabbat
Twice a Month
Starting Aug. 11, Young Family Shabbat will take place twice a month. Join us a.m. on the 2nd and 4th Saturday of each month in the Chapel for a service, followed by snack, art, and playground time. Young Family Shabbat is a fun, interactive service for children - infant to six years old; grandparents and siblings are welcome. See you and your family there.
Dates: Aug. 11 and 25
Time: 9:30
Place: Beth Am, 26790 Arastradero Road, Los Altos Hills
For more information call the synagogue at 650-493-4661
www.betham.org
Shofar Blowing
Join us in the Pottruck Family Atrium for daily shofar blowing through the month of Elul. If you are interested in helping perform this ritual, please e-mail Rabbi Eve Ben-Ora, JCCSF Jewish Educator, or call 415.292.1251.
Dates: Weekdays, August 15 - September 11
Time: 9:30 am
Place: San Francisco JCC, 3200 California St., San Francisco
For more information call 415-292-1200.
Outreach Kabbalat Shabbat
Please join us as we come together as a community to welcome Shabbat.
With Rabbi Yoel Kahn and Cantorial Soloist Julie Batz
Music - Torah - Mind - Spirit
Family-friendly service. Childcare also available.
Healthy snacks for children (and adults) before and after the service.
No RSVP needed. Bring a friend!
Date: Friday, August 17
Time: 6:15pm
Place: Beth El, 1301 Oxford St., Berkeley
For more information call 510-848-3988
Prospective Member Gathering
Join an informal gathering where prospective members will have the opportunity to meet our clergy and staff, tour the synagogue, and learn more about the people and programs that make Temple Sinai such a wonderful community.
Date: Friday, Aug. 24
Time: 6pm
Place: Temple Sinai 2808 Summit Street Oakland
For more information call Gabby at 510-465-3263
http://www.oaklandsinai.org
End of Summer Havdalah & Folk Concert
This is an evening devoted to Jewish folk music and Havdalah with guest artist, Marsha Attie. Bring your blanket, some lawn chairs, a picnic dinner and enjoy Havdalah outdoors followed by a fabulous folk concert. We’ll provide the dessert.
Date: Saturday, Aug. 25
Time: 5pm
Place: Swig Field (behind JCC), 200 No. San Padro Rd., San Rafael
This concert is being presented with the generous support of Nina Frank and Lee Kranefuss and is free and open to the public.
RSVP to Jerrine by August 17 at (415) 479-3441
Singing In The New Year: Music for the Days of Awe
A Pre High Holy Days Workshop
Enhance your prayer experience by learning about the melodies that are unique to the High Holydays—ability to read music is NOT necessary. Led by Cantor Rita Glassman.
Date: Tuesday, August 28
Time: 7pm
Place: Sherith Israel, 2266 California Street, San Francisco
For more information call 415-346-1720
Jewish Community Volunteer Day
At Project Homeless Connect
Join us as we put our values into action! Volunteer as part of the Jewish Community Volunteer Day at Project Homeless Connect (PHC). PHC is a nationally recognized San Francisco initiative working to transition people out of homelessness. PHC is a one-stop-shop that includes medical, dental, and counseling and employment services for homeless individuals.
Date: Wednesday, August 29
Time: 8am - 5pm
Place: Bill Graham Civic Auditorium
Sign up to volunteer at PHC today www.sfconnect.org.
The Mystical Hebrew Alphabet: Layers of Meaning, Fabric of Time
All families are invited to attend this event at the Marin JCC. Gallery Reception is at 6:30 pm, which includes Jonathan Bayer playing music and singing songs, food and drink. April Berger has studied the Hebrew alphabet for 1-½ years, studied scholarly works on the symbolism of the letters, and transformed this into artistic expression.
The exhibit will run September 1 through November 19.
Rodef Sholom families will go together on Thursday, September 6
Place: Marin JCC, 200 No. San Padro Rd., San Rafael
How We Die; How We Mourn
How do we die, how do we mourn and therefore: How we get ready for Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. We will study the customs, ceremonies and laws surrounding the end of life and mourning. This is the first of four Sunday morning public teachings on "Living like a Jew." Each will include background handouts and discussion of the laws, customs and ceremonies of Judaism pertaining to the great passages of life and death.
Taught by Rabbi Larry Kushner, the husband of our own Karen Kushner of Project Welcome. Be sure to say hello!
Date: Sunday, September 9
Time: 10-11:30 a.m.
Place: Emanu-El, in the Main Sanctuary, 2 Lake St., San Francisco
No registration necessary, just come.
For more information call the synagogue at 415-751-2535.
Annual Beth Am Sukkot Open Homes
Last year hundreds of people celebrated Sukkot with new and old Beth Am friends and neighbors. Here are some comments from last year's Sukkah goers: "There were special children's activities that my kids really enjoyed." "I loved seeing the unique and creative Sukkahs." "Our family had fun building and decorating a Sukkah for the first time!"
If you would like to participate as a guest, please contact either Lori Shaffer (650)494-7008 shaffer5@earthlink.net or Diana Friedman (650)965-2265 friedx4@pacbell.net - or sign up on the web at http://www.betham.org/sukkotrsvp.html. You need to RSVP so we can match you up with a congregant family hosting a Sukkot Celebration!
Date: Sunday, Sep. 30
Time: 3-5 p.m.
Place: Homes in the Los Altos area
Welcoming Your Jewish Baby
A new group for moms and babies age 0 to 6 months. Discussion topics include: Support for Moms with new babies; Jewish Resources for Mom, baby & family; Getting Your Groove Back & Adjusting to the New Normal. Five sessions.
Feel free to bring a snack.
Date: Tuesdays, beginning Oct. 2
Time: 11:30am to 1pm
Place: Oakland, call for location
Cost: $36 for the series
Call Dawn at 510-839-2900 x347 for more information or to sign up.
www.jfed.org/bjb
Baby is a Blessing
This introductory workshop is for anyone who is expecting a child and would like to learn more about Jewish and spiritual rituals for welcoming your new baby. Pregnant and adopting individuals, couples and their family members are invited to come and learn, meet other expecting parents and their loved ones, and share the anticipation and excitement!
Date: Sunday, Oct. 21
Time: 10:30am - 2:30pm
Fees: Public $40; Peninsula JCC member $36
Place: Peninsula Jewish Community Center, 800 Foster City Blvd, Foster City
Karen L. Erlichman, MSS, LCSW is a licensed clinical social worker in private practice in San Francisco.
This program is Co-sponsored by Project Welcome.
To registration go to:
http://webreg.pjcc.org/econnect/Activities/ActivitiesDetails.asp?ProcessWait=N&aid=329
------------------
Dawn C. Kepler, Director
Building Jewish Bridges: Outreach to Interfaith Couples
300 Grand Ave.
Oakland, CA 94610
(510) 839-2900 x347 or (925) 943-1484
www.jfed.org/bjb
